Saturday, December 31, 2011

How to Tell the Difference Between a Wolf and a Coyote

In the never ending quest to enlighten other hunters before questions arise, it might be useful to share a few tips on how to tell the difference between a wolf and a coyote.

These sorts of things always include a few pictures and biological descriptions so here we go:

In general, WOLVES are bigger, heavier bulkier animals with a broad head and rounded ears.  An adult, male wolf can tip the scales around the150lb mark if he does not engage in an active lifestyle and his wife is a good cook.

COYOTES are smaller, have a more narrow, leaner head and face with pointed ears.  They tend to buy large quantities of inferior grade merchandise from various industrial supply houses with ACME Company being a favorite. Coyotes are also more litigious than wolves and are much more likely to pursue lawsuits against parties they believe have wronged them.  Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff v. Acme Company, Defendant

Another helpful hint is you will be more scared, quicker when attacked by a pack of wolves versus a pack of coyotes.  Screams during a wolf attack tend to be more of a muffled, gargling sound.  More intelligible words such as "AHHHHH!!!  Get it off of me!!!!!" can be more clearly heard from the victim during a run-in with coyotes.

A Man in the Woods

Saturday, December 17, 2011

When Organs Go Rogue

I'm falling apart.

I understand now why some people have irrational fears of hospitals and doctors.  They just might find something wrong with you.

I was having minor lower back pain on my right side.  Nothing too severe but it did not go away after several weeks.  Shivering uncontrollable while not killing an elk in Colorado and helping load/unload bales of hay does NOT help this sort of thing BTW.  My intense fear was it was due to 4-wheeler riding and other associated hunting activities.  I secretly made plans to not tell my wife if this was the case and would simply hunt until crippled.

I go see the doctor.  And then a radiologist.  And then have my DNA assaulted with a chest x-ray.  Nothing looked out of whack (Latin for marginally messed up) but there was discovered a family of 3 kidney stones living on the LEFT side.  What?  "But I don't hurt over there (pointing to left side), doc!"  

This led to a knitting needle being pounded into a vein in my left arm for the contrast agent and a CT scan to produce much greater detailed and expensive images.

Actual size of needle used to inject contrast agent!

The following is a list of good findings along with things out of whack.  ALL are asymptomatic ..... for now. 

  • Heart, lungs, spleen, right kidney (my favorite one), colon, adrenal glands, liver, appendix and guts all got an A+.  The report goes downhill from here.
  • My prostate is a tad large (stinks to get old; tell me something I don't know).
  • Minor compression in my lumbar spine with some minor osteophytes (little bone growths) at the L2-L3 and the sacral region (stinks to get old a bit more).
  • Diverticulosis but no sign of diverticulitis (great, my colon is aging quicker than the rest of me)
  • A small "fat-filled umbilical hernia".  Nice.  Nothing says "sexy" or "winner" like a "fat-filled umbilical hernia"!  "Do these pants make my fat-filled umbilical hernia look fat?"  My sister was born with an extra rib.  My grandmother had an uber-slow growing benign tumor on the side of her brain stem, probably from childhood.  Do I get something "extra" that can be discussed in open company or would be useful (like a third arm)?  No, I get a previously unknown umbilical hernia.
  • Left kidney is really upset in a passive aggressive way about the previously unknown stones not paying rent.
  • The Boone and Crockett stone is 3.7mm.  I'm planning on a shoulder mount when I meet him face-to-face.

A Man in the Woods

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Who said hunters don't have a sense of humor?

I'm actually angry I did not think of this first.  Received from a friend.

Friday, December 2, 2011

My New Hero...

The Man in the Woods has a new hero....  Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter.

This is a long video but well worth the time.  (This is a rare quasi-political digression but well worth sharing.)