Friday, May 25, 2012

Gender Specific Views of "Hunting Profits"

As I've mentioned many times before, my wife is one of the smartest people I know.  She works in finance at a large software company and is generally pretty "good" with all that fancy math and "edumacation" we both acquired in the 1990s.

She is brutally familiar with all things related to Gross Profits, Gross Margins, Operating Income, Net Income, Run Rates, Software Cap, Revenue Recognition, Unwinding off the balance sheet, etc.  What she is NOT familiar with is the extremely important financial concept of Net Hunting Profits.

We have always kept different checking and savings accounts.  This was not by design but is just "the way" our marriage evolved in the early years and it has worked for 19 years so far.  She has bills and responsibilities as do I.  Yes, we considering everything "our money" and are listed on each other's accounts but rarely talk about the nitty gritty details.  We each have a small about of "fun money" built into the budget and never (OK, rarely) question the other on personal purchases in this category.

For example, at the end of last year I bought and later sold an older, used .22 magnum rifle through  This rifle was bought for ~$190 and later sold for ~$230.  The details are not important.  All the dear reader needs to know is it was bought for $X and later sold for something greater than $X generating a Net Hunting Profit of ~$40 in the process.  For no real reason, this was not discussed and never really came up in everyday conversations around the house.  She has never asked me about rifles in the past; I never ask her about shoes.  Life was good.  Life was simple.  Life was nice and compartmentalized.  I simply considered this Net Hunting Profit as an extension of the "fun money" budget for Larry.  How could it be viewed any differently?

Recently, my buddy and I who purchased a small piece of land 8-9 years ago, sold it.  While this particular transaction would not be considered giant in anyone's book, the net proceeds were a bit more than $40.  Nothing life changing but a nice "chunk of change".

I viewed the "hunting land proceeds" in the EXACT same light as the rifle transaction from just a few shorts months ago.  I was the one who made payments on the land.  I was the one who helped "improve" the property.  As a matter of fact, she never once set foot on the property having little desire to spend quality time getting eaten alive by chiggers and mosquitoes or freezing to death.  We paid $X, sold it for something greater than $X and had generated some modest Net Hunting Profit.  Exactly like the rifle sale from months before.

But as the transaction neared completion, she, like a power-hungry Democrat wanting to spend money faster than it comes in the door, started to talk about non-hunting uses of the Net Hunting Profits.  What...?  But...?  How could this be?  These are HUNTING Profits.  It actually includes the word in the NAME!!!  She started talking about responsible uses like college educations, putting it in the bank or paying down on the house.  I was contemplating equally responsible uses such as a caribou or mountain goat hunt or seeding a trip to Africa.

Upon the realization of our incompatible plans for the funds, a variety of spirited discussions ensued.  As you can image, I did not fare too well being outgunned mentally, verbally and intellectually.

I'm currently exploring selling my weaker kidney to the highest bidder to generate Net Africa Funds, a term I plan to MUCH more thoroughly define upfront before she uses some of her fancy mind-control tricks like 'reason' and 'logic' on me.


A Man in the Woods (and not in Africa.... yet  ;-)   )

Friday, May 4, 2012

Helpful Hunter Hint: Mirrors

Helpful Hunter Hint #11:

If you are driving to the woods with a rearview-mirror-blocking-4 wheeler in the back of your truck to do a bit of hunting before some work on a food plot and you back up to give an 18 wheeler more room to make his turn, CHECK YOUR SIDE MIRRORS before putting your truck in reverse and hitting the gas.  The lady driving the Lexus behind you might appreciate it.

I'm happy to report my 2" trailer ball was unhurt.

A Man in the Woods