Thursday, August 9, 2012

Urination in the Woods

As I've written before, my wife and I are blessed with 3 beautiful children.  One of the many benefits of having children, besides the love and semi-reluctant help with chores around the house, is they are highly entertaining.

My 7-year old daughter is a perfect example.  At least once a week, she will share some pearl of wisdom or unique observation which is often very wise but more frequently, hilarious.  This seems to stem from limited knowledge, vocabulary or life experiences so she just pieces together what she can and just "goes with it".

This past weekend, she and I were in the woods for some quality father-daughter time involving food plots, protein feeders, tripod stands, dead trees and chiggers.  After we loaded up materials and implements of destruction but before we started riding the 4 wheeler, I told her I needed to go the bathroom.  (Helpful Hunter Hint:  Full bladders and 4.4 mile rides through the woods are a bad combination.)  As required on page 117 in The Deer Camp Etiquette Manual, I proceeded a short distance in front of the truck away from the other people to a small brush pile to relieve myself before the ride.  The short but telling conversation which took place is typical of exchanges in our house.

Dad:  "Alright, looks like we are ready.  I'm going to go to the bathroom before we leave."

(Dad walks to front of truck to brush pile)

7-year old (climbing into the back of truck for absolutely no reason other than it is there):  "OK"

(soothing sound of tricking water and urological relief...... several seconds pass)

7-year old (yelling from back of truck):  "Dad, I have a napkin if you need it."

Dad (smiling to himself):  "That's OK honey.  Boys don't need one like little girls."

7-years old (irritated that her dad is somehow thick and doesn't 'get it'):  "No Dad!... in case you get a drop on your finger."

As is often the case, I'm not sure why but this made me feel stupid.

A Man in the Woods