Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Just another day at the Home Owners' Association Meeting

We live in a neighborhood outside of Houston, TX.  My wife says it is "the country" but it is simply in an area where the country and the city meet.

But every once in a while, we are reminded that we are "not inside the loop anymore".  Below is the agenda from an up-and-coming Home Owners' Association (HOA) meeting.

After the usual topics of financial reports, idiots who don't cut their grass or other idiots who have a full-size refrigerator on their front porch (I wish I was kidding), we have the equally common topic of "Alligator control".


A Man in the Swamp

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Wonderful Phone Calls to Receive

There are some phone calls which elicit greater emotional reactions than others:

"My plane just landed...I'll be home in an hour".

"Hi Dad!  I just called to say 'I love you' ".

"Hey Larry, this is Bob.  I drew an elk tag too!!!!"

"The surgery went great.  We can see her in about an hour."

"I wrecked the car."

"Larry, this is your taxidermist.  Your feral hog mount is ready."

This is the same boar from a story I shared last year about the stump that moved in the dark.

Needless to say, my wife is VERY pleased with the new addition to the wall.


A Man in the Woods

Sunday, May 5, 2013

When Rattlesnakes Attack

Just an interesting story I wanted to share.

Sorry, not a great deal of humor potential here other than to mention how everyone who get bit by a venomous snake describes it differently.

Like "... someone taking a full swing with a baseball bat and hitting me in the calf".

A friend of mine who was bit by a copperhead on the thumb a year ago described it "... like a hot knife going in." 


A Man in the Woods (cautiously this time of year)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Deer Stand

As is often the case, I'm confused.
One man's trash...

The other day while driving home, I noticed someone had replaced part of their fence.  The old, slightly "experienced" fence boards were stacked by the curb awaiting heavy-trash day.

Sensing an opportunity and acutely aware of the limited cargo capacity of my Volvo, I rushed home to change clothes and retrieve the truck.  My kids were somewhat shocked that I was going to drive up to a stranger's house, knock on their door and essentially ask if I could have their trash.  I've done some brazen things in the past (like sending a press release to the CEO of a company I want to work for announcing them hiring me with the CEO quoting how awesome a hire I was) but THIS surprised them a great deal.  I was peppered with questions about what I would say, how they might react, what if they got mad, etc.

After an uneventful exchange with the owner of the garbage and a polite warning to be careful since there were lots of nails in the lumber, I loaded up the truck and drove home.

is another Man's Deer Stand
I've known my wife for 22.5 years.  Over the course of our relationship, I've learned that there are some topics best to avoid.  Examples include (i) the cost of rifles, (ii) potentially dangerous situations in which I insert myself from time to time and (iii) when I bring home a truck load of someone else's junk.

The 8 year old, not having experience in the avoidance of such matters, announced to mom "Dad went up to a stranger's house and took their garbage!"

Now, do I get credit for being an urban recycler and friend of the environment?  No.  Do I get kudos for saving a buck by not having to buy supplies for a deer stand I plan on building in the next month?  No.  I get a bunch of guff about "digging in other people's garbage" and painting a Sanford and Son sign on the door of the red truck.


A Man in the Woods (doing my part to save the planet, one deer stand at a time)